Archive for the ‘Ted Miller’ Category

The Goodell, The Bad, and the Ugly

July 14, 2009

Hello Followers. I hope that you are well.

Well, since my last incarnation, there have been a bunch of happenings on the WSU Cougar front.

And for me, the most important development has been Teddy Miller’s agreement to double down on our little wager from the year past (But alas, the wager doesn’t look as good for me as it did before we lost our entire defensive backfield to suspension).

That all said, those of you who have followed this blog know that in all forms and spirits, I adore Theodore Miller as a sportswriter and blogger.

And for that reason, I thought it appropriate for you to see the most recent Man Collage—we’ll call it the “Sacred Homage”–that I have made of Ted in relation to a couple of other notable male specimens of the entertainment world.

As you can see, Ted has managed through the years to develop a visage that reflects both the sassyness and allure of William Hurt without sacrificing some of the good-natured manliness of NFL Commissioner and recent Mountain Climber Roger Goodell.

Any way that you cut it, I find the above picturesque combination of style, substance, and raw leadership to be quite high in Carma. For his solid contribution to college football sportswriting–and for his immense vision in pumping up this blog, I give Ted four solid Carma Chameleons.

Excellent work, Ted. I’ll look forward to having you on this blog for a double interview around the 1st of the Year when we edge UCLA for 8th place in the Pac.

Have you seen all the stuff about Cougar hoops lately? Rochestie lights up the summer league for the Los Angeles Fakers, Klay lights up the international stage for the Gold Medal U19 team, and Motum makes a case for being the most intriguing in-coming freshman in the Pac-10 conference on the same stage. Want proof? Andy Katz recently suggested on that our very Cougars have a chance to finish third in the conference next year!

But what is even more significant than the prediction was Ken Bone’s quote in the interview that accompanied the Katz column. When asked about his thoughts about the talent left to him by his predecessor, Bone was particularly sassy. In fact, Bone went so far to say that the talent that T-Bone left him was so great that Bone felt that Tony Bennett deserved to have a place on his staff a la the Tricky Dicky years:

Yep, Bone thought so much of Bennett that he thought T-Bone’s previous accomplishments merited a spot as an ASSISTANT coach at WSU. Call it a joke, call it brashness, call it whatever you want to call it, but I call it Carma.

Welcome aboard, Kenny Bone, a whopping FIVE Carma Chameleons for you, my brother.

Finally, a fun-d-raising update for the faithful. As you all know, we have been involved in a very, very positive and loving effort to bolster the financial fortunes of our athletic department.

But currently, we are in the midst of a bit of phone tag in the “you’re it, I quit” variety.

That said, we think it is important for the faithful to have complete confidence that we will have an official link for you by the start of kick-off against Notre Dame.

With that in mind, I am quite happy to announce that I am completely confident that our entire effort can raise at least one-hundred-twenty-five-dollars-and-sixty-two cents for Martin Stadium renovation, Phase VIII.

WSU Athletic Department, I love you with all of my sincerity and believe entirely in all of your recent and authentic efforts. But, in addition to being a lover, I am also a business man with many wives, kids, and 17 Rolls Royce’s.

For that reason, only 1 Carma Chameleon for you this week, my brothers.

And to the rest of the faithful, until next time, I bid you a harty “Coug-de-L’Amor.”

BH Diaries: Its a Comin’

June 25, 2009

Brinkhater Diaries Vol 2 (1)

Greetings, Cougar Nation. Hope you all are having a great week.

So, here we are, about one week away from July 1st–one of my favorite days of the year! The reason?

First, July 1st is Uncle Sedihawk’s birthday, and that always means a good party is just around the corner!

The second: July 1 is usually the start of’s coverage of WSU Football’s infamous summer work outs. Want a few teasers of what’s to come?

“We’ve never had more guys here working as hard all summer long as this year.”

“In the past, we’d lift weights at 6:00am , but THIS YEAR, I mean every guy on the team is in there lifting weights at 6:00am.”

“People can say what they want, but we think that a bowl game, even the Rose Bowl, is a real possibility for this team if we all stay together.”

“Coug offense is really hitting stride in its daily 7 on 7 skelly drills.”

How can anyone hold back on premium stuff like that? I mean, sign me up now!!…
So, in the last eight weeks of off-season “dead time,” the Cougar football team has been able to make headlines once again for “alleged” off-field troubles. And per usual, the Wulfman has done a great job in making sure that the whole world understands just what an incredible misunderstanding all of that stuff really was. (Cough! Cough!)

Nation, Instead of getting used to seeing this visage of Coach Paul this season:

I think we should all probably get used to this one:

Nation, this is a really, really crucial year for this program. With a very, very good recruiting class coming in this fall, as well as some promising prospects in tow, Coach Paul WILL turn this program around provided that he/we can eek out 4 paltry wins this year. If we can do that, we will be positioned nicely to have another great recruiting class, compete for a bowl game next year, AND have the type of depth that will make us candidates to become Oregon State north in the years to come

But to get to that 4 wins, Coach Paul is going to have to allow a certain amount of Bandit activity in the program this year. Because, if he takes the hard-line, we’re looking at 2-10 all over again–which will threaten his job security, create a ton of empty seats, and kill recruiting. So, how Coach Paul balances that fine line between discipline and a need to win more games NOW will be one of the top three plots to watch as the rest of the summer and the start of fall camp (e.g. summer grades) unfolds…
HEEEELLLLLLLLLLLOOOOO, Mr. Theodore Miller!!!!!!

So great to see you remembering our little wager from last year–which to all who don’t know ended in a “push” because we failed to finish either 7th or 10th in the wonderful Pac-10.

With that in mind, I am thinking that we do a double or nothing this year!

What that “double” is needs to be decided, by you, Mr. Miller. But on this side, I am thinking that our upside is 8th.

So, if we finish 8th, you give us a “double interview” (kind of like a double album!), and if we finish 10th, I’ll fly down to Arizona, wash your car, shine your shoes, and live in your living room (e.g. we’ll figure it out).

My reasons for this early optimism are simple:

(1) The season hasn’t started.
(2) Washington is going to finish 10th again. They still can’t play any D, and unlike us, they have no running game. So, after Locker gets knocked out again by week 6 or 7, they’ll be cemented in the cellar once again. So, it really is going to be between us and UCLA for that 9th spot. And, with the Bruins and Sun Devils at home, I think I may like our chances for 2-3 conference wins and that coveted 8th spot in the Pac-10!

So, you name the Double, Mr. Miller, and I’ll bring the trouble.

And to everyone else: Have a great week!

Now What?

November 24, 2008

It’s Monday morning, and I think the fans are STILL ON THE FIELD.

As we bask in the glow of another Apple Cup triumph (now four out of the last five), even in this worst-ever season, it never gets old to win your rivalry game. The beer tastes better, food tastes better, hell, the mundane like going to work or school gives you a little pep in your step.

Now, sure, no crowd has probably ever stormed the field after beating an 0-11 team… least I doubt it has ever happened…..but does it even matter? Look, if you are a Coug, you have suffered this year. You have been there debating on message boards and leaving comments about what is wrong today, how difficult this change has been on the players and coaches, and maybe even more so, you have dissected when and how it all went wrong. We all have our theories or sources or whatever. It has been that kind of year.

But all that frustration of 2008 came rushing out late Saturday afternoon. After all the hard work, all the embarrassing blowouts, all the local and national talk of WSU looking like one of the worst BCS teams of all time? That all went away – at least for a while – when Grasu calmly drilled his third and final field goal of the day.

Quick side note….what did I tell you about taking the underdog in a rivalry game?? Especially when the teams are relatively even in terms of record, etc. Said underdog has now covered the spread in seven of the last eight Apple Cups. It’s no fluke. But I also have to raise my hand to say that yes, I called UW to win this thing, 17-16. ON a field goal by UW! Whoops. Never, ever been so happy to be so wrong.

Speaking of predictions. Brinkhater and I were talking, and decided to actually tally up our picks from 2008 Football Friday on Thursday, and how we stood up to the experts. And who better to compare ourselves against? How about the top local guy and national guy who do these things on a weekly basis, in the people’s choice, Vince Grippi, and ESPN’s Ted Miller?

Even if you aren’t curious, here are the updated numbers, through Saturday’s games (note that these are NOT against the spread, only winners/losers):

Ted Miller: 54-15
Vince Grippi: 53-16

Brinkhater: 52-19

Sedihawk: 51-20
Longball: 22-9

Note that we’ve picked more games than they have, as we usually make a national game pick outside of the Pac-10. But still, not bad for a few hacks in blogger-ville.

But seriously, now what? There is, after all, a game this Saturday night over on the island. Will coach Wulff get them excited to do more than hang out at the beach? It’s pretty clear, at least what Wulff said yesterday in his Sunday presser, that he has his work cut out for him.

“It can be (difficult) if we don’t handle it right,” said Wulff, the WSU coach. “The other thing is, you come off a big, emotional game, then you go to a place that’s historically challenging to play at for anybody.

“So yeah, this is going to be a tough, tough test for our psyche.”

Maybe that’s at least part of the reason they are a 28-point underdog to a 6-5 WAC team?? However, WSU has now covered the last three games, so we’ve got that going for us….but let’s face it, college football is one of the most emotional sports on the planet. As Keith Jackson has famously said, trying to predict what 18-22 year olds are going to do on a weekly basis will drive you crazy.

That said, maybe, just maybe, this Apple Cup win, a game they pulled out in the face of adversity, will be a turning point? A game in which the team had so many chances to just give up, when it looked like UW was going to salt this thing away, yet someone kept stepping up to keep it close? Maybe, just maybe, some of these guys are starting to believe?

We’ll take a closer look at Hawaii later this week, in our usual way. And the Wulff radio show will air TONIGHT, so we’ll have our usual recap up tomorrow morning. As always, ENJOY YOUR MONDAY, and GO COUGS!

Football Friday, Week 6: Not Ready for Prime Time

October 2, 2008

Greetings Resilient Cougar Nation!

Welcome to Football Friday, only on Thursday…Week 6 style.

Hard to believe, but we have actually reached the halfway point of the 2008 tilt (humor me and count Hawaii as a bowl game).

Thank God.

First and foremost, a big shout out to all of you for your comments this week. Not only were they generally great comments and takes, but they signified that, in spite of being abysmal, we really do have a hard core group of committed fans. And that is something to feel good about. Really.

Now, back to reality.

For weeks now, I’ve been pegging this game as a major upset special. For one, we always seem to play well against the powder blue puff girls (in Football, that is).

For two, UCLA’s offense is pretty bad. And as Sedihawk brilliantly pointed out to me today, UCLA really represents the first straight up, conventional offensive team that we’ve faced all year. In short, no more spread, read-option offenses. Coupled with a pretty weak 3rd string quarterback gives real hope that we could see our first competitive game of the year.

The problem from my perspective is still our offense. And particular, our offensive line (it also doesn’t help that the Evil Vince Grippi is back to his sinister ways and is reporting injuries to 3 out of our top 4 tailbacks. Damn you, Grippi)

While Ocho Rojo showed last Saturday that he really IS the man of the future, I think its a bit much to expect him to light it up in both his second start and first road game. Simply put, guys making their second starts as 18 point dogs rarely fare well. I think such is the case on Saturday–especially since we are still making changes at the tackle position. Look for #8 to make similar mistakes but more BIG PLAYS.

Therefore, while I see a game where we can stay “sort of in it,” this is not a game that we will win.

That said, IF the O-Line steps up, and IF we can avoid the TO’s that have buried us the last 5 weeks, we could WIN this one (last week, with a similar “stellar scenario” we could only make it interesting).

But we won’t. UCLA wins 38-21 in a game that will make all WSU wagers rich: UCLA will NOT cover this weekend. No how, no way, no Chow.

However, lest you all think that Brinkhater has thrown in the towel this season, I haven’t.

I still think we have a real fighting chance to stay out of the conference cellar(Hear that Ted Miller????).

Other games:

USC 31 Oregon 21: As the President once said, “shame me once, shame on.., shame me twice, shame..shame me, DON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN. Conquest makes move to once again be among the best 11-2 teams of all time.

Notre Dame 28 Trees 24. Captain Comeback runs the ball well, but can’t quite get over the hump against Charlie Stump.

Arizona State 28 Cal 21. CAL has QB problems again and can’t bring its Best. ASU will do better now that the expectations are lowered–LOSERS.

Arizona 51 Washington 24. Word to felllow Husky Haters: Their D sucks, but they may get better with a QB that can actually throw the football in the same zip code as an open receiver.

Utes 31 Beavs 28. Great game, but Beavs come back to earth..”Mountain West Rulz!”

And Bandit Bowl 2:

Florida State 24 Miami 23. In true Florida spirit, this “might could” be the game where Wide Right happens to the other team. This should be a good spirited, punk fest: Word to Joe Mommas everywhere.

Enjoy the Games and Go Cougs!!

Sedihawk Says:

Good morning Cougar Nation. Another week, another game. And another chance to scrape ourselves up off the mat. For why do we fall down? So we can get right back up and give it another shot. Tomorrow is just another chance to turn it all around, it’s always darkest before the dawn, cliche’, cliche’, cliche’… get the idea. We’re 1-4 and we’ve sucked in the majority of the four losses. Period.

Do we have hope for this week? After several days of lamenting the lack of talent, depth and character, do we really believe that we can go down and beat UCLA? Well, it’s not impossible. What is it with UCLA and WSU, and why WSU has been able to beat them so frequently of late? We know UCLA hates coming to Pullman and they haven’t been shy about ripping on the Palouse. I was there last year in the 27-7 WSU win, and UCLA was one of the flattest teams I’ve ever seen play college football that day.

While UCLA might lead the overall series 35-18-1, the recent history is something to be excited about. Six of our last seven times, since 2001, WSU has prevailed. And it’s 10 of the last 14, going all the way back to 1992. Even in an awful 1995 season, where we went 3-8 (yes, with Mike Price AND Bill Doba), we still beat them. And there have been some classics and/or KEY wins over them in recent times.

  • Jason Gesser playing on one leg, leading the Cougs to an historic 48-27 win in 2002, clinching the Pac-10 title.
  • The 1997 season opener with Ryan Leaf and Cade McNown going nuts, and a goal-line tackle by Leon Bender to preserve a 37-34 win.
  • The Palouse Posse pitching a 21-0 shutout vs. a ranked Bruins team in the Rose Bowl in 1994.
  • And who could forget the 1988 classic, when Timm Rosenbach, Tim Stallworth, Paul Wulff, Dennis Erickson and the rest of the Cougars shocked the nation with a comeback, 34-30 win over Troy Aikman’s #1 ranked Bruins (we’ll revisit that one tomorrow).

So for whatever reason, we see the powder blue and gold, we get excited.

Anyway, will it matter this week? Here’s what I think will happen:

UCLA has struggled so far, and they were beaten famously at BYU, 59-0. But they did beat the SEC’s Tennessee Vols the week prior. Seems like a very distant memory now, and the BYU fiasco is much more ingrained on the brain. But I don’t think the Vols game should be thrown out, and for this reason – UCLA stood toe to toe with BCS/SEC athletes, mounted a comeback, forced overtime and ultimately prevailed. Can we say the same thing? Absolutely NOT. While Tennessee has proven to be a disappointing SEC team, clearly not one that will be a factor down south, still, this wasn’t exactly Portland State if you get my drift? That game, to me at least, shows that UCLA might have a 1-3 record, but they DO have the ability on a weekly basis to beat a lot of BCS teams. Especially at home.

Speaking of at home, UCLA has beaten Tennessee, was blown out by Arizona, and then lost a tough one last week vs. a good Fresno State team, 36-31. But in that Fresno State game, UCLA, for the first time all season, showed a pulse on offense, and especially the running game with 234 rushing yards. Uh-oh.

Finally, Kevin Craft, the emergency starter at QB after the Bruins lost Pat Cowan and Ben Olson before the season, has more or less settled down. He has thrown five INT’s this season, in four games, and that’s not very good. But consider that FOUR of those INT’s were thrown in the first half vs. Tennessee. Over the last 3 1/2 games, he’s only thrown one INT.

But let’s look at the full picture here. You think OUR offense is bad? We’re at least averaging 19 points per game (yuck). But who is averaging 17 points per game, good for last in the PAC?? UCLA. And while we have sputtered mightily on offense, averaging 322 yards per game, or eighth in the conference…..guess who is LAST in the conference, with a measly 276.8 yards per game?? UCLA.

And UCLA’s defense has been touted as being big, fast, physical, the whole deal. But the Bruins are allowing an amazing 37.5 points per game, eighth in the Pac-10. And they are eighth in the Pac-10 in total defense, giving up 415.8 yards per game. That’s only 21 yards less per game that our awful WSU defense, if you can believe it. Think about that for a second – all those yards and points we have seen the WSU defense give up so far, and UCLA is only 21 yards less per game? That’s a huge shock to me. So they are dealing with a new culture change as well with Slick Rick.
But that’s just the stats, and you know they don’t always tell the story. Judging a team just four or five games into a brand new regime is, as they say, SMALL SAMPLE SIZE. There is way too much of the season left to go before you can fully peg a team, one way or another, and a hell of a lot can change.

So that’s the Bruins. But what about our Cougs? What can we expect?

I think like Brinkhater says, Ocho Rojo will play better. He will make plays and will likely grind out a few drives of note. Brandon Gibson will get his yards and catches, Devin Frischknecht will have a decent day, Jeshua Anderson will turn in a big play or two, and we’ll have some things to cling to as the season rolls on. And believe it or not, I do think our defense will play better this week. There will be some adjustments made, again, and a renewed effort to stop the run. Some new faces will be out there, and that will help, but I think we’ll see some wrinkles to do everything in our power to stop a running game.

ALL that said, it still won’t be enough. If there is one thing we’ve seen as a general tone this season, it’s this – on both sides of the ball, up front, we simply aren’t good enough. We’ve started five different combinations at offensive line, and none of them have proven to be the solution. Even while we had a huge stat game vs. Portland State, we still allowed far too many free shots at the QB’s. But the huge concern is how they’ve been physically overwhelmed vs. BCS opponents on both the offensive and defensive lines. While UCLA’s own offensive line has been overwhelmed as well this season, they will still be able to handle what our defensive front throws at them this week.

In the end, I do see a tight game here. But UCLA gets it done in the trenches. We will have extreme difficulty running the football, and Ocho Rojo, while showing some real upside, still won’t be able to do it without a legit running game. And defensively, we’ll rally to the football and slow down the run early, but UCLA will stick with it and stick with it and stick with it, ultimately wearing out a tired defense. The Bruins pull away late, tack on a 4th quarter TD, and win it going away, 34-20.

Other games:

USC 30 Oregon 27: USC is mad, sure, but they also aren’t as “special” as we thought they would be. The Oregon State offense showed that USC’s defense can be handled up front. Oregon’s o-line is excellent and they will not be intimidated. USC wins it late but it will come right down to the end.

Notre Dame 23 Stanford 18. Harbaugh’s heroes are rolling, already at 3 wins. But a bit of a letdown coming off their big road win at UW.

ASU 33, CAL 20. CAL has opened up the QB job again, and Jahvid Best is hurt. But ASU gets off the mat after their loss to UGA, and Erickson coaches ’em up for the W.

Arizona 57 Washington 31. Agree with Brinkhater here. I have to admit I enjoy watching Jake Locker run the football, but I’ve been down on him as a true QB since the beginning of last year. The kid is simply not a consistent thrower, period. There have been very few “special” running QB’s who could also throw the ball consistently, and at this point Locker looks nothing more than the second coming of Michael Vick….except for the dog fighting crap. Anyway, Ronnie Fouch will keep them in it for a while and will surprise some folks by his ability to move the team, but UW’s defense, WOW. Just WOW. It will be a miracle if AZ fails to score less than 50 in this one.

Utes 33 Beavs 19. I want to think that Oregon State is doing their annual circle-the-wagons deal after yet another slow start. But they have lost at Stanford and were embarrassed vs. Penn State on the road. I think reality hits the Orange-n-Black. LET DOWN CITY against a very good Utah team in Salt Lake.

And Bandit Bowl 2:

Florida State 21 Miami 13. Hooray thugs. Both teams ain’t what they used to be, where it was almost a national holiday when these two would get it on back in the day. But Bowden’s boys have too much for the still-rebuilding Canes.

But as we always say, that’s why they play the games.

New Prediction, New Ted

September 12, 2008
Greetings Cougar Nation

By now you all know that we are playing tomorrow.

By now you all know that we are traveling to the game tomorrow.

By now you all know the outcome of tomorrow’s humid-yuck fest:

If we come out strong, we’ll die in the 4th quarter.

If we come out weak, we’ll be killed in the 1st Quarter.
This was NOT a good idea.

Brinkhater’s pick: Baylor 34 Cougs 21

Put this one on Sterk, big time.

However, lest you are feeling too gloomy, today did give us one pleasant surprise, and that is WE HAVE A BRAND NEW TED on

Today, we saw the end of the relaxed, gone-yoga-on-me Ted and now have the Clark Kent played by William Hurt version of Ted:

Of course, I like this Ted, but I am now particularly fearful that this Ted–as well as any other–may not be on this blog as expected in December.

In any case, Go Cougs.

“VIVA LOPINA!!!!!!!”

Brinkhater Diaries: Miller High Life

July 30, 2008

Brinkhater Diaries Vol 1 (7)

“Dear Diary:

This has been the most amazing week of my life!

For the past week, I have sat at the site meter of the WSU Football Blog and watched the numbers light up like a slot machine.

One hundred, two hundred, five hundred, one-thousand, two-thousand hits a day! And from all over the world!

I mean, Diary, can you really believe it?

My evil plan is working! World Domination is clearly in sight!”

— Diary Entry June 23, 2008

Ah, but just a few days later, as Obi Wan doth noted when the Death Star obliterated the planet Alderon…

“There was suddenly silence…..”

You know, when we first started this blog (my uncle Sedihawk and me) we did so for two REALLY important reasons.

The first really important reason? Sedihawk thought that a blog would be the perfect platform for writing about the Cougs all day without having the correspondence be traceable over our respective company e-mails.

And he was right!!!!

But the second reason was mutually understood, yet at times painfully unspoken:

BOTH Sedihawk and I desperately wanted to be Ted Miller.

For Sedihawk, the reason was (and is) totally altruistic: Hawk wanted to cover the Pac-10 with the precision, insight, and poise that Miller routinely exhibited then in his column at the PI as he does now writing 6 newspaper articles a day at

As for me, well, my visions of being Miller-like were much more juvenile (surprised anyone?).

After all, I didn’t want to be like Ted for the writing.

Hell, I can’t write to save my fricking life!

Instead, I wanted to be like Ted so I could be cool!!!!

How cool, you ask?

Well, cool enough that I could spend last week singing “That’s Amore” at some fancy restaurant on someone else’s dime like Miller did with all of those other good sportswriters, coaches, and players the night before Pac-10 Media Day!

Mind you, that wish (and urge) was not directed toward an infatuation with college age students like Jake the Snake.

Heck, that’s Cougfan’s role in the world.

Instead, I wanted to hang out and partake in those shin digs so I could get trashed with the likes of Thiel,Miller, the Go 2 Guy, Groz, Gas, and dare I say Benedict Condotta. I mean, we could toss a few back, play a little “Stump the Schwab” type game

complain about sore backs, trick knees, nagging spouses…

And of course, make a LOT of fun of the Huskies!

(and THAT would mean making a lot of fun of Condotta).

At any rate, it really became all too apparent that the ONLY reason for our rush of “hits” last week was because our man, Ted Miller, threw us a few national-size bones and the pack came and went.

Oh, the scourge!

You know, Warhol said that everyone gets 15 minutes of fame.

But do any of you know what it feels like to get 8 minutes of intense infamy and then get left out naked in the 110 degree cold of Northern California?

I mean, “Damn you, Ted Miller!” How could you leave me like this?

Shoot, it was JUST two measly weeks ago we were on your short list, and now, you don’t bring us flowers anymore?!

But rather than revile you, I thought I’d take a quick look down memory lane to let everyone in the world know HOW MUCH WE WANT TO BE YOU!!!! (And truly this is no joke!)

So, here’s a pic of when Ted when he came into my life:

This is what I call “Cool Hand Luke Ted.”

There’s no dancing or messing around with this Ted: We’re talking about a pure North-South glare AND hairstyle. Although a bit cropped, this is the true-blue “blow dry and brush straight back” job with the do.

Solid, solid reporting during this period about the Huskies. It made me a bit uptight. But man I wanted to be you, Ted….Man, I wanted to be you!

Phase Two of Ted is the “Jet Set Ted.” This Ted is more of the sports coat, no tie Ted.

I also really liked this Ted:

As you can see from the mug shot, this Ted is a little more cunning as exhibited by a bit of an east-west look to the hair. You can also see that Ted’s face is a bit more rotund at this particular phase.

I’m betting that this is about the time that Ted got his first raise and finished his first year with Mrs. Ted.

Still great sportswriting here as Ted expanded his role outside of pure sports reporting to some columns about other sports as well.

“I love you, man!”

Phase Three Ted is a much more relaxed, “coming into his own Ted.” This is a good Ted, although much more reclusive. This shot depicts much more of the rugged outdoor type version of Ted hallmarked by a switch from east-west to a west-east hairpart. Solemn, masculine, with a bit of mystery, don’t you say?

Needless to say, this is also a classic, if not Vintage, Ted.

Man, is he great or what?!

Finally, we have the au currant version of Tedliness:

At first, I thought maybe that this was a bit of a metro-sexual version of Ted—aka “The Rick Bucher Ted.”

But, really this is just the “Kind, sensitive, gone-Yoga-on-me, cuz I live now in Arizona and I’m the BEST FRICKING PAC-10 WRITER EVER!!!!! Ted”

This Ted is less elusive in his looks, although he did stay with the West-East look on the hairpart. But what’s really striking is the nice tan, and the bit of the strawberry blonde thing. Very nice.

I also like girl-tease like he’s not wearing a shirt when the photo was taken.

“Very Nice!”

In any case, I’ll look forward to having you here on this Blog when we get seventh or better, Mr. Miller.

In the meantime, whether you like us or not, we’ll always be fans, and it will always be “Miller Time” round these here parts….

Switching from High Life to Low Life, how about the News this Week that Clay Bennett and his boys have closed in on a new name for our dearly departed SuperSonics. And WOW! was I surprised at the genius of what they came up with:


As you all know, I was somewhat aghast at the previous moniker “The Barons” since I really couldn’t understand why Bennett would want to name a team after current NBA All-Star, Baron Davis.

But, “The Thunder” was perfect. They must be naming the team after CHOCOLATE THUNDER–my main man, Daryl Dawkins!

Yet when reading the story there were no words about Dawkins’ history of ripping rims off of backboards, shattering glass, making Mike Gminski cry after calling him a “sissy” in practice. Nothing.

Instead, I was left to realize that those stupid, retarded, rich bastards are actually on the brink of giving an NBA franchise the name of a really, really bad and badly named U-10 soccer team.

I mean, sit at your desk and mouth to yourself as loud as you can “Go Thunder!”

How cool do you feel?

Next try saying with a bit of force, “Thunder rock!” Or “Lets Go, Thunder.” Or “We love Thunder!”

Horrible. Horrible. Horrible!.

But as if that name isn’t bad enough, and as if the NBA doesn’t stink enough as is, consider opposing city’s chants regarding their other lead possibility: “The Wind.”

Can you see the Headlines “Blazers Blow Out the Wind.” Or even worse, “Spurs Break Wind….”

Finally, the Best Person in the World award this week goes out to our own Coach Paul.

As many of you know, Coach Paul declared that while Rogers has the lead at QB at the moment, Lopina is right there and going to see action.

For those of you worried about a QB controversy, don’t fret a bit. Rogers is going to have a nice long leash.

BUT, Coach Paul’s statement does indicate that the days of seniors and nice guys getting “their due” is over. Instead, you can see that the re-culturing of our program is really taking hold and that better days are already upon us.

Hard to believe, but the season begins next week.

Brinkhater Diaries: Tickle Me Elmo

July 19, 2008

Brinkhater Diaries Vol 1 (6)

“Come on, tickle me Elmo.”

“I said, COME ON!…..TICKLE ME, Elmo!”

So, many of you have been wondering about why we have been picked to finish last in the CRAP-10 conference this year. And, this week we got a good sniff as to why.

Chief among these prognosticators is the venerable Ted Miller as well as the Times’ Bob “Benedict Arnold” Condotta. Each provided a list of rankings of Pac-10 Quarterbacks this week.

And, low and behold, our very own Gary Rogers and his posse of back-ups were rated not first, not second, not fifth, not seventh, but DEAD STINKIN last.

How could it be, Noble Sires of the Scribe?

After all, most Cougar fans, diehards, and other masters of denial such as me still spend HOURS thinking of the glory we could have experienced in the Deep South if Rogers had JUST been able to stay in the game. Remember??

And, when you watch that tape you know why it is that my two boys may need to lay off the sauce when picking stiffs like Sean Canfiled ahead of my man GR (who of course wears the same number as Brinkhater’s hero, David Krieg).

Of course, it isn’t as if Rogers’ illustrious history in Crimson and Grey ended with the Auburn game.

Many of you Cougar die-hards may also remember his SPECTACULAR 20 yard throw to Jason Hill two years ago that enabled us to escape with a thrilling 1 point victory over the happy (memo to NW fans: NO ONE in Texas is EVER hapless!) 2-9 Baylor Bears.

Yet, because of an injury weeks later against CAL, we have not really seen what Gary Rogers CAN do on the football field.

What we have seen, however, is what he has NOT been able to do.

Granted, part of Rogers’ problems last year was that the Doba-Rosey conglomerate wouldn’t put G.R on the field until there was a buck and change left in the game.

And more often then not, they wouldn’t even let him throw.

However, when they did allow G.R to pull the trigger, it wasn’t pretty.

In fact, Rogers’ performance last year was outright hideous.

So, the REAL Gary Rogers will have his chance to stand up this year. Although he is both green and unproven, he enters this season loaded at the skill positions and is fronted by Ted Miller’s No. 5 offensive line in the conference.

Therefore, when you factor in that spread offenses like Oregon, Mizzou, Kansas, and so forth have yet to have a ROCKET armed quarterback at the helm, you have to be enticed to see what a spread offense looks like with someone who can really zing the ball to the flat and throw it 125 yards down field.

So, if Rogers can make reads and not try to throw through people this year, he will finish in the top 3 in the conference in quarterback rating and touchdowns….Bank on it.

Are you still a Weaver Believer?

I am.

When I first heard that Kyle was drafted by Charlotte, I was more deflated than elated. But then, I remembered that the Bobbycats are now coached by Mr Hipshaker, Larry Brown.

Because Brown is such a great coach and purist, you all need not worry that Kyle hasn’t signed a contract yet. Since Weaver will make the team and will play right away, Kyle is right to hold out to get some solid dough.

Its going to be fun watching him develop into a pro’s pro.

Meanwhile, as reported by the Sacramento Bee this week, Love-em-and-leave-em Larry actually accepted the Stanford job this past spring only to turn it down two days later for the NBA.

In my view, its really too bad that Larry didn’t join the Trees. I for one would have LOVED to see him and Mike Montgomery square off twice a year in the Bay Area for who has the best fake-bake tan job in the month of February.

Don’t know about you, but I’d take Montgomery and the points anytime, anywhere.

Finally, in recognition of my increasing National and International stature over the past few weeks, I thought it might be prudent for me to share with you some more about myself and my various likings.

With that in mind, I encourage you to partake in my latest project: Brinkhater’s “Book of the Month Club.”

For this month, I suggest a really great book by a NW writer. The title of the book: “The Art of Racing in the Rain.” The narrator of the book is, of all things, a dog.

But what a dog it is!

For all of you men out there looking for another excuse to cry on the toilet, this one is for you.

And yes, even the Mrs. will enjoy this one as well.

All disclaimers aside, you’ll enjoy it.

Have a great weekend.

Brinkhater Diaries: Ducks Suck?

July 12, 2008

Brinkhater Diaries: Vol 1 (5)

Ducks Suck?

It would certainly appear so.

According to the Portland Tribune, freshman Quack wide-out Dion Jordan was recently burned following an attempt to siphon gas out of a car with none other than……..A VACUUM CLEANER?!

Of course, the gas caught on fire following the suction and elecricity and Jordan was burned but not tragically injured, thank god. May seem trivial, but my guess is that we are going to see more similar bizarre and/or illicit stories from the college sports world as gas prices increase, transportation through air and ground become prohibitive and low-income kids get additionally squeezed on college campuses. As I’ve noted before on this blog, the time has come to look at paying student athletes. Does anyone out there really think that Yahoos like Rich Rodriguez should make millions off the backs of low-income kids from Ohio and Michigan? I don’t. Does anyone think that kids are not going to do stupid stuff as they become increasingly isolated from their families because they can’t afford (and schools can’t pay for) trips back home?

Personally, I’d like to see athletes receive additional resources (cash) based on a combination of financial need, class attendance, and grades. In my view, you can add incentive for kids to uphold the Student-Athlete Moniker at the same time that you decrease incentive for similar stupid acts to try to get to the movies…


So, who cares if it’s a Huskers photo, in case you haven’t heard, we’re number one in the BCS rankings! According to LEB sports from the Dallas area, in a ranking of ALL BCS logos, our WSU Cougar emblem ended up being ranked #1 in the country ahead of the likes of Miami, KSU, Penn State, and so forth.

The reason for our ascension to the top of the charts? The inclusion of “W-S-U” into our logo. I for one know the genius of that—it wasn’t until a drunken night at The Coug my junior year that I recognized it:

“Hey fellas, you all ever noticed that there’s a ‘W-S-U’ in that Cougar emblem?”

Finally, a big shout and “Best Person in the World” award for this week to ESPNs Ted Miller.

Not only has he provided the first blog out there that rivals the coverage provided by Sedihawk, but he also is the first major news outlet to provide a link to this very here Blog.

We love you too, Teddy Bear!

So, with that in mind, Ted, I offer you a one-of-a-kind cyber deal. We finish tenth in the PAC as you predicted and I will perform any reasonable act of self-humiliation and/or homage as you desire on this blog or through any feasible media outlet.

However, if we finish seventh or better as I predict, then you come on this Blog for a Brinkhater exclusive.

I’ll look forward to talking with you in December, T-Rex.

For the rest of you, I’ll catch you next week.