Archive for the ‘Reardan Mule Days’ Category

All I Could Muster

November 8, 2008

Greetings Cougies – Long time, no blog.

It’s 4:33AM on Cougar Football Saturday (can we start acronym-ing this down to CFS?). I’ve actually been more or less awake since 2AM. You might ask yourself “Why in the world was Hooty up at 2AM? I wonder if it had anything to do with getting shitfaced at the Owl n Thistle and then going out for a nice plate of ‘browns at the Hurricane followed by a little lapdance in the VIP room at Razzmatazz?”
Well, I’m glad you asked, curious reader. The reason I was up at 2AM this morning is that I actually still get fired up for CFS. In this historically shitty season – I still wake up at 2 AM and can’t get back to sleep because I’m excited for CFS…and as far as Mrs. McBoob knows, I NEVER had a lapdance in the VIP room at Razzmatazz. I just watched Poo get one as I stood just inside the door, waiting for that one Whitesnake song to end so I could get home to her… but seriously, I can’t wait to get on the road.
Weird, huh?
So, instead of being an active participant on the blog this season, I’ve been a casual observer and occasional comment-er. So, I’m either sorry – or you’re welcome depending on how you feel about that. My last actual contribution to the blog might have been my glorious slice into the lumber yard of a prediction that our offensive line would be the best unit on the team. Oof.
With Longball on board this year, he assumed the role I played last year and I am now filling the role Rooster had. Rooster had to retire in order to accept his new position as Supreme Chancellor of Reardan Mule Days.
I had planned on being a much more active participant this season but in addition to being busy coaching Mini McBoob’s Pop Warner team, we got the news in mid-August that Mama McBoob has brain cancer. She had surgery on the 21st and true to form, she recovered from surgery soon enough to watch the first half of the season opener on the 30th from her own couch. (She slept through the second half, kinda like our secondary.) By September 6th, she was on the sidline for Mini’s game. (That’s Mini up above, form-tackling some unlucky 7-year-old chump from Priest River)When Mini and I had to leave straight from the field for Pullman and the Cal game, she lobbied hard to go with. Moms was weak as a kitten but she wanted to come with us. She’s always been a Coug fan – even when I was growing up in a house full of husky fans in Bothell, Mom was the only one cheering for the Cougs. The first Apple Cup I ever remember watching was the ’82 game and she was the only one rooting for the good guys. Now, after brain surgery, she says she wants a cougar tattoo on her bald head. She loves her Cougs.
So like any son would do for their die-hard Coug mom who has brain cancer, I sent an e-mail to Mike Utley’s Foundation, to ask if he’d mind giving my Mom a call to tell her to keep fighting. Prior to my freshman year in ’88, I briefly flirted with the idea of walking on the football team. That flirtation stopped when I went through new student orientation that summer and my counselor was Mike’s sister Theresa, who I believe was a thrower on the track team. She invited Mike to lunch one day and I was in awe. I had never seen a human that big and he had a killer mullett that made mine look like a Bum Phillips flat-top.
Today, I’m still in awe of Mike Utley for all that he’s accomplished in his life. He’s another great example of how we should define a hero. We often refer to athletes as heroes and some of them really are – but moreso for what they do off the field than on it. Mike’s one of those guys. Not only does he raise hundreds of thousands of dollars for spinal chord research every year, he also called and talked to my Mom just a few days after she came home from the hospital. How cool is that? A couple days after the call, a package showed up with a personalized 8×10 that now sits in a frame in my Mom’s den. She’s planning on making it down for Apple Cup to thank him in person.
Speaking of the Apple Cup, have you guys seen this? I think we’ve finally sunk beneath the famous “Bone the Dawgs” t-shirts of the ’80’s…


So one good thing about being up in the middle of the night is that when John Clayton gives tips about this weekend’s games, it’s like he’s giving them only to you. My fantasy RB situation is so bad that I had Ahman Green and Dominic Rhodes in my starting lineup this weekend, so on JC’s advice, I just waived Green and picked up some guy named Darby who will start for the Rams. This simple act will almost surely result in Mr. Darby pulling his groin and both hamstrings as he opens a can of cat food tonight – but if not, thank you in advance, John.
Despite Hawk’s claim that as an “all-area lineman” I could put some sort of expert spin on this afternoon’s slugfest (as in us getting repeatedly slugged in the gut), I was actually a scout team MVP one week during my senior year, so what you’ll likely get after my trip to Pullman this afternoon is a few crappy snapshots and some sweet, sweet drunk-talk. It’ll be kind of like reading one of Brinkhater’s posts…
And now, back to your regularly scheduled CFS programming with Hawk, BH and Longball.
Your Friend,
P.S. I voted for Moore AND McCain. Fool me twice…