Archive for the ‘John Blanchette’ Category

WSU Football Blog Aims to Hit Home Run

October 25, 2008
ELECTION 08 SPECIAL SERIES

WSU FOOTBALL BLOGGERS GET SPECIFIC AS CAMPAIGN HEATS UP


ONALASKA, WA–“Hello, Logger Nation!” exclaimed Brinkhater to a capacity crowd on Day two of the WSU Football Blog’s campaign for College Football Sportswriters of the Year.


“Its good to be back in the place where all things that start off Purple and Gold grow up to see the light of Crimson and Gray! And on a clear day in Onalaska, legend has it that you can actually see Russia!”

According to campaign officials, the purpose of the Blog’s swing through the battleground of Southwestern Washington was for Brinkhater and Sedihawk to present a set of talking points which they hope will lead them victory in November.

With that goal in mind, campaign officials hoped that the two might be able to construct a narrative around the three pillars of their campaign: Experienced Leadership, Trust, and Fiscal Responsibility.

“In this day and age, any Tom, Dick, or Sherry can start a blog” noted Sedihawk, the Blog’s co-founder.

“You know that, I know that, and the American People know that.”

“But I also want you all to know and remember that Brinkhater and I started the WSU Football Blog before those large newspapers even knew what a Blog was. So, I ask you: when times are uncertain as these times are, who can you really trust to advance the cause of Cougar Nation when you need things done right?”

“Also too,” noted Brinkhater as the applause subsided, “You will hear all of the other candidates talk about their records of outstanding journalism and how they are worthy of your trust as such. But I ask you–I beseech you–how many of those other corporate, liberal media types have shown something even more important?”

What I am saying is, how many of them have adequately proven that they actually trust YOU?”


Amidst a chorus of boo birds, Sedihawk noted that other media outlets have made life miserable for those who wish to comment on their Blogs. Among the hassles he noted on opponent’s web-sites were constant mandates to disclose e-mail addresses, names, addresses and zip codes, phone numbers, and dates of birth.

“The only thing they don’t ask for is your Social Security number,” Sedihawk lamented to the crowd.

“But we at the WSU Football Blog have never done that!” Brinkhater interjected to thunderous applause.

“And we never will!”

“You have our word on that,” the two exclaimed in chorus. “And that is why we are running for College Sportswriters of the Year!”

While the two were supposed to include additional discussion of their record of Fiscal Responsibility, they apparently forgot to do so. And, instead, quickly dove into the crowd.


In other developments at the event, the WSU Football Blog also announced that fellow blogger Longball was appointed Chair, Adviser, and Manager of the campaign.


In the first definitive act in his new role, Mr. Longball addressed reporters after the event.

“These guys are really something. You know, at first, I was just a lonely guy who posted on the Blog every once in a while. But then one day, they asked me to join the team. Next thing I know, I have a new job and I’m getting regular offers from Fortune 500 companies just about every week.”

“So, the message we’re trying to put out there is that these guys are more than just outstanding sportswriters, they’ve also got a proven record of creating jobs.”

“So it’s my role in the campaign to make sure that America sees that.”

But sources close to the campaign suggest that doing so will be no easy task.

In only two short days, the trio has completely exhausted its limited budget and is struggling to find sources to supplement their weak cash reserves.

“The fact that Brinkhater still lives with his parents helps” a source close to the campaign noted, “but look what they’re up against: three multi-million dollar corporations. And their name recognition is barely polling in the double digits.”

Over the coming days, the trio plans to make their way up the I-5 corridor en route to traversing towns around the Olympic Peninsula including Hoquiam, Chehalis, Sheldon, Sequim, Quilcene, and Neah Bay.

“We will not stop until the entire state has heard our message.” Sedihawk promised.

But there’s only one week left. Stay tuned.

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Breaking News: WSU Football Blog Enters Highly Contested Race

October 24, 2008


WASHTUCNA, WA – Professional sports writers beware. On Thursday, on a glorious fall evening in the greater Washtucna area, WSU Football Bloggers “Brinkhater” and “Sedihawk” officially announced their joint candidacy to be crowned top Washington State College Football Writers for 2008.

The two join an already talented pool of candidates that include the twin bills of Jim Moore and Molly Yanity of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, Bob Condotta and Bud Withers of the Seattle Times, as well as the Vincent Grippi-John Blanchette conglomerate of Spokane’s Spokesman Review.

While the two announced that more specific details of their candidacies would be announced in the coming days, Brinkhater used the initial press conference to go on the offensive. Vincent Grippi, the top scribe of WSU Athletics of the Spokesman Review, was Brinkhater’s primary target.

“For too long now, WSU Nation has suffered the wrath of the stodgy, outdated ideas and journalistic methods of Vincent Grippi and his other colleagues from the State’s major newspapers. So, after careful consideration and with the full blessing of our families and spiritual advisers, we are here to declare our intention to run for–and win–the state’s top award for College Football Sportswriters.”

Pundits were shocked by the announcement. Nobody knew that the award existed, that it was up for grabs, or that there would be any type of public election. But citing a need for change, Brinkhater’s declaration “should serve as a warning for all mainstream media types that everything is on the table. And to my fans all over the globe, please be assured that help is on the way.”

Meanwhile, reaction began pouring in from all over Cougar Nation. “I had no idea you could even do something like this”, said Bud Nameck, WSU football sideline reporter. “But having said that, I can’t disagree with any of it. Brinkhater and Sedihawk really are a breath of fresh air. Each week I let them into my home with their columns and predictions, filling the deep void left by the lack of mainstream media’s ability to inform and entertain. I mean, I can read notebooks or get links to other stories about WSU pretty much anywhere. But I think that perhaps some of the old acts have grown tiresome. In these troubling times, we really need a change.”

When reached at his palatial Tacoma estate last night, longtime WSU football announcer Bob Robertson said “I don’t know who Brinkhater is, and quite frankly, I don’t care for blogs, message boards or the Internet in general. But where Vince Grippi of the Spokesman is concerned, well, he has a long history of being an honest beat reporter who gets the facts straight. OK, so he blogs about his family outings with his Dad when the Cougs travel to UCLA and muses about problems at his apartment in Pullman during home games. But who doesn’t want to read about that?”

When asked if his statement reflected his infamous dark sarcasm, Robertson quickly stammered into a play-by-play call of a three-yard gain by former WSU running back Frank “Magic” Madu, “weaving his way up the middle and lunging out to the 42-yard line!” When asked what he meant by the description of the Madu carry, Robertson replied “Who? What now?” before abrupty ending the call with his trademark “always be a good sport, be a good sport always” catch phrase.

In a prepared statement, WSU Football Blog contributors “Longball” and “Hooty McBoob” roundly endorsed Brinkhater and Sedihawk for the honor.

“Brinkhater has been an outstanding blogger on the WSU landscape for many wonderful years. And his record speaks for itself” said Longball. “We would be thrilled to see him and Sedihawk assume the top spot in WSU Nation.”

Said McBoob: “Who else on the planet has been able to acquire an amazing 46-2 record picking WSU Football and Basketball games? Even though I hate the sport of basketball, I cannot deny Brinkhater’s greatness. And Hawk, wow. Have you seen the stuff he’s done this year? And in our worst year EVER? The daily content is better than ever! And as Brinkhater himself has said, this is a time for change. “

Throughout the press conference, Brinkhater continued to fire shots across the bow of the Grippi campaign, calling the self-described aging and balding former athlete “out of touch with his audience.” Brinkhater then touted his own 46-2 record picking Cougar football and hoops games over the past two years. “I simply ask you all to look at the record, and compare it to Grippi’s. I think that when people open their minds and review our respective accomplishments, the WSU Football Blog will become the people’s obvious choice.”


The Grippi-Blanchette campaign had no immediate reaction, perhaps because there isn’t a true Grippi-Blanchette campaign. Vince Grippi appeared, like many others, to be completely unaware that there was such an award or that there would be an election.

When reached at his home late last night, after several moments of stunned silence, Grippi tabbed the situation as “outrageous” and refused to comment further pending a morning meeting with his Spokesman advisers.

Election Day is Tuesday, November 4th. Polls open for early voting starting the morning of Friday, October 31, 2008. Every vote counts.

’til then….stay Tuned.